What’s life as a police wife like? | Police Wife Lifestyle Revealed
I'd Bet Money I Describe Your Mornings: A Real Day in the Life of a Police Wife (Then and Now)
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I'd bet money I can describe your mornings if you are a police, fire, or military wife. Your alarm goes off at 6:00am, and you wake up alone. Depending on his schedule, he is either already on day shift, still out on night shift, or fast asleep behind blackout curtains after swing shift. You get the kids fed, lunches packed, and everyone out the door while planning the entire day as if he cannot help, just so you know your family is covered.
Early in our marriage, waking up alone and carrying the default parent load left me feeling lonely and resentful. What changed everything between "then" and "now" was building Independent Daily Routines that made my mornings and afternoons run smoothly on my own terms, combined with Gentle Observation and Assertive Trauma Informed Communication so that when my husband is home, we step right into teamwork for bath time, bedtime, and Consistent Quality Time Together at 8:00pm.
Ever imagined what life as a police wife was like? Here is an honest hour-by-hour look at a day in my life as a police wife and working mom, and how our routine shifts based on my husband's schedule.
I’m a police wife married to a metropolitan police officer in Los Angeles. Days may differ based on departments and shifts. I thought it would be best to describe what it is like being a police wife by taking you on a day in the police wife life.
I am also a working mom of two boys ages 6 and 9. Our boys attend a private school. We made this choice consciously. See my tips for parenting police kids here.
My police husband has worked many different shifts in our 10 years of marriage from day shift, swing shift, to nights. I share how our day differs based on the shift that he works below. Adjusting to shift work and police wife life can be tough. Check out my heelsandholster: a police wife devotional book to address common challenges be a joyful and prideful wife.
Police Wife Lifestyle Morning Routine
6:00am
A typical day in the life of a police wife most likely starts alone. Being aloneis a reality that many police wives get used to over time. Not matter the shift my husband works, I often wake up alone. He’s either already working (day shift), sleeping (swing or night shift) or still working (night shift). When my husband is with us in the morning, I feel awkward because it’s been so rare in our marriage.
We have two children ages 5 and 7. Our boys have always been early risers. I would prepare for our morning routine the night before. Since our boys are two years apart, in the first couple years of my youngest’s life, he would have a bottle or nurse in the morning, so I would have water and fruit prepared in the fridge for our older son.
My boys and I cuddle and watch tv for a bit and then I wash my face, brush my teeth and do my hair before making breakfast. This sounds like a lot but it takes me no more than 20 minutes. I wear contacts and put those on as well.
7:30/8am
My boys and I have breakfast
8:30am
If it’s a school day, my boys go to school and I go to work. I’m a professor and blessed with a teacher schedule so I can usually work around my boy’s school schedule. Keeping track of our family schedule on a white board calendar is just one tip I providein this blog on managing shift work schedules.
Life as a Police Wife Afternoon
2:30pm
I drive from my work to pick up our boys from school.
3:00pm
I pick up both boys from the same private school where they are in kindergarten and 2nd grade. Typically one or day a week my police husband can pick up the boys from school. This differs based on this schedule, but I plan as if he cannot help so that we are covered. Thriving as a solo parent when you are a police wife is key. See tips on solo parenting here.
3:30pm
A few days a week we have Jiujitsu, skateboarding or cello lessons so we attend these after school activities. If my husband is off work, he will take the boys to activities, and I’ll stay at work later to catch up on things. On the days we don’t have activities after school, my boys like to play on the playground after school. When we get home, we read books and then they like to play video games and relax.
Police Wife Lifestyle Evening
5:00pm
I make us dinner. On weekdays, I try to make quick meals, such as tacos or chicken Alfredo. I love making extra so I can have leftover nights. Check out my blog on meal planning with a free recipe book.
6:00pm
After dinner I make everyone’s school and work lunches for the next day. Typically lunches usually include four of the following: sandwiches, chips, fruit, cookies, hummus, veggies, fruit strip, granola bars, apple sauce, yogurt, etc. I also clean the kitchen. We run the dishwasher at night, so I unload it and load it with the dishes from breakfast (which yes, I leave rinsed in the sink all day) and dinner. If my husband is home, he will have our boys start their baths. He supervises them upstairs.
If my husband isn’t home, after I’m done cleaning and making school/work lunches for the next day, I take our boys upstairs for their baths. Our older son is completely independent. Our younger son still needs some help. I will wash our younger sons’ hair, play with him a bit and sometimes let him relax and wash his body while I do a free workout on my tv in my bedroom. I’m close enough to hear him if he needs anything.
7:00pm
We begin the bedtime routine. We watch a show downstairs and relax. I will usually go take my shower at this time. If my husband is on day shift, he will usually come home around this time. He will have our boy brush teeth and get PJs on.
7:45pm
We go upstairs to our boys room to read a book, sing a song, and rub their backs for a bit.
8:00pm
If my husband is off work, this is our time to chill out. We typically Netflix and Chill. It’s lovely. Good night.
Picture this:
Your 6:00am mornings feel calm and unhurried because you prepped the night before and built an Independent Daily Routine that works even when you wake up solo.
Your family whiteboard calendar keeps school pickups and afternoon activities clear, and on his days off he gladly takes the kids so you can catch up on your own work or rest.
Dinner is simple, the dishwasher is loaded, and when he walks in from day shift at 7:00pm, you use Gentle Observation and Assertive Trauma Informed Communication so he jumps right into bath time, teeth brushing, and PJs without a single argument.
Even on solo nights, you fit in a quick bedroom workout and feel proud of the joyful, peaceful home you are running.
By 8:00pm on his nights off, the kids are asleep and the two of you are relaxing on the couch for Consistent Quality Time Together, feeling like true teammates.
Ready to build a daily rhythm where you feel supported and connected no matter what shift he works? Start with my free 3 Keys to Knowing He’s Got Your Back training.
Listen: more on thriving in police, fire, and military marriage on the heelsandholster podcast
I truly hope seeing what life as a police wife is liked helped you to feel normal if you also experience some of the same things or are anticipating what’s to come. We do take on more than average wives, but I have found joy in my marriage and role as a police wife. Check out these other blogs that I think you’ll like: