From a Police Wife Feeling like She’s Caring for her Baby All Alone to Her Husband Taking 3 Days off This Past Month for Their Son
When my police wife client in Resilient Ride Along came to me, she felt resentful like caring for her baby was 100% her responsibility even though she and her police husband both had careers.
Now? Her husband took two days off work just this month to take their baby to his well check-up and stay home with him when he had a cold without her even asking him to do it.
What changed?
These two strategies my police wife client learned in Resilient Ride Alonghad her husband go from feeling like he couldn’t do anything right causing him to leave all responsibilities in caring for their son on her shoulders to taking three days off in the past two months to care for their baby without her asking or complaining.
My Resilient Ride Along client came to me as a new mom with a successful career in business and a police husband. She said, “I feel resentful towards her husband… like every sick day for their baby fell on her shoulders even though both she and her husband worked.” She felt like he wanted her to be a SAHM, but she had an established career that wasn’t easy to go in and out of.
You feel the weight of all the childcare responsibilities and chores at home on you too.
My client had tried talking to her husband about it like “I could use your help more with the baby” but nothing changed. She hired a part time nanny with her “own money.” This made her feel even worse because her husband made comments like “I feel like the nanny is raising our baby.”
You’ve tried talking to your partner about helping you out more but it hasn’t made a difference either.
Her husband felt like he couldn’t do anything right. Even when her husband did something helpful, my client didn’t acknowledge it. She told me during one coaching session that her husband took the day off to care for their son when he was sick without her asking. I asked, “Did you tell your husband how much that meant to you?” She said, “No. I feel uncomfortable giving my husband compliments. He wants attention for doing things he should do anyway.”
Positive feedback is the most effective way to increase your husband helping you with the baby or chores. Extinction, the lack of response, decreases your husband’s motivation to continue helping out.
In Resilient Ride Along my client learned a two-step method for ending resentment and getting on the same page as her husband with co-parenting.
She did my Signature 30-Day Gratitude Challenge along with a personalized goal of verbally acknowledging every time she observed her husband helping her with the baby or chores around that house. This rebuilt their bond so that her husband left feeling like he couldn’t do anything right behind.
She learned my Assertive Trauma Informed Communication method to talk to her husband about taking equal responsibility over their baby at a time he’s biologically available to hear her and using specificity so he knew exactly what she wanted. (You can grab two parts of this communication method in my He’s Got Your Back free training)
When you acknowledge what your partner does that brings you joy + talk to him in a way that he hears you, he will help you more with your baby.
My client’s husband took two days off work just this month to take their baby to his well check-up and stay home with him when he had a cold without her even asking him to do it.
According to my client, “It’s so nice that my husband is stepping up to care for our baby now. He loves when I compliment him. He doesn’t feel like he can’t do anything right anymore. We’re happy. Everything’s great.”
This is 100% possible for you. The only program you need to make it happen is my Resilient Ride Alonggroup coaching program.